No, You Don’t Understand!

How to make a good judgment call?

To make a clear judgment call one must know the whole story of the event at hand.

There is so much division in the world right now and it really boils down to the lack of understanding.

One thing the Lord has shown me lately is this lack of understanding affects us to make good judgement calls. We half-listen to what people have to say without taking into account their feelings.

Too many of us are looking from the outside, in situations. You know when you look into a house. You can’t see all the rooms, you can only see what is in front of you.

How can you make a judgment call with such limited vision?

I’ve always taught my children there are 3 sides to a story, “your side, my side and the Truth”.

Often times when you hear a story you are only hearing one side of the story, so you are not qualified to make the right judgment call.

Many people are suffering from hurt because of the lack of understanding we have. How many times have you heard…

“I understand what you are going through.”

Oh, I hate hearing people say that. Let’s be clear, you don’t understand unless you have been through it yourself.

This phrase used loosely lacks the compassion the other person needs.

It’s so easy for us to say they should know better or they are getting upset for no reason. But how many times have we really tried to understand what that person is going through?

Understanding requires listening.

While Jesus is the ultimate truth, so He is the only right Judge, we can use scriptures for wisdom to help us make good judgment calls.

Let’s look at one scripture many of us are familiar with to see if it can help us with make good judgment calls.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. – 1 Cor. 13:4 7

To make a judgment call you need clear understanding. The key to understanding is listening with love. This scripture is packed with things we can apply when listening to those who are hurt.

How To Make a Good Judgment Call?

10 tips to make a good judgment call

1) Have Patience
Without patience, you will only hear to respond. Responding should only come when you have had a chance to listen to the whole story. And please, try not to cut people off when they are speaking. What that is really saying is “what I have to say is more important than what you have to say.”

2) Be Kind
The opposite of kind is cruel, harsh.
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. – Proverbs 1:15
Enough said.

3) Listen Without Envy
You know the phrase “the grass is not always greener on the other side.” This is not the time to base your judgment on one’s status, income, history, or possessions. They need you to hear them for them, not their position or status.

4) Don’t Boast
No one at this point in time wants to hear what you did in your previous situation. Giving advice is good, but boasting is not ok.

5) Don’t Be Proud
To start off, God opposes the proud. Being proud puffs you up. You will not be able to help with a proud attitude, because being proud blocks you from listening. This also goes in with boasting. If you are struggling with this take it in prayer before you judge a situation.

6) Don’t Dishonour
We are all made in the image of God. Dishonouring any man or woman also dishonours God. Even if you disagree with the situation or person, you shouldn’t dishonour the person.

7) Don’t Seek Your Own Desires
You know when you are having a conversation with someone and they turn it around to make themselves the victim…yup, that’s what I am talking about. Don’t make the situation about yourself. And don’t take advance of the person or situation by trying to get what you want out of it.

8) Don’t Get Angry
Take the time to hear the person out without getting upset. Allow them to vent while you listen. This will give you a better understanding of the situation.

9) Don’t Bring Up The Past
You know what I am talking about…” remember when you did…” None of that. People change every day. Along with their change can come repentance. No need to bang someone over their head with things from the past.

10) Don’t Gossip
The best way to fix a problem in my book is to have both parties together to discuss. If it is a situation where this cannot happen, remember you are only hearing half-truths. Never listen to one said and make a judgment call based on that. Don’t be quick to pick sides and be sure not to repeat what you heard to other people.

As always, Pray. Ask God to see the situation the way He sees it. Ask God to see the person as He sees them. Ask for His heart. This may give you a totally different prospective of things.

What are some other things you do to when you are in a tough situation and need to be a call? I would love to hear from you, go ahead and comment below.

Don’t forget to like and share.

Photos by Kaboompics-1013994 from Pixabay and Photo by Pille Kirsi. Music by HoobeZa Link – https://youtu.be/O6nMNPQ4Vf0 ————————————-

6 thoughts on “No, You Don’t Understand!”

  1. I enjoyed reading your post! You’re right, “I understand” can be frustrating when you know the other person hasn’t been through the same circumstance.

    I wonder what you think about the idea that “I understand” is taught as a comfort statement, like the listener is showing they are understanding the feeling behind it. Empathy is still real without experience.

    So ya, what do you think about that idea?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t know that. I believe saying something you don’t really mean is not being real. We need some real people around us. I think it gives the other person a quick feeling of relief but time will come when they are all alone, replaying that conversation in their minds, that they will realized you don’t understand and you only said it to shut you up. I think that will change your prospective on that person and might stain the relationship…at least it did for me before.

      Like

  2. Good points raised. We should all be quick to listen and slow to speak! I think we very too often use our words to attack others or defend ourselves, while we should use them for healing, reconciliation and affirmation.

    Liked by 1 person

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